Taken from "The Lonely Man Chronicles".

The Alarming Episode of the Boy from the Bush.

Night after night

Right after the fright

That they’d given the kids in their care

They ate at that table

As fast as were able

Then disappeared back below stairs

Acting refined while they feasted on fear

And munched on the sorrow and glugged back the tears

They chatted and giggled and sang wicked songs

Told terrible jokes and trumped wicked pongs

Never taking a moment to stop and to think

Of the hero approaching with grin and with wink

But approach them he did as the Queen’s song was sung

To right the wrongs and to free the young

Boys that they kept and they scared for their supper

The first to leap up was the first one to suffer

“Eleven to one?” He thought before then

Swinging his ladle and making it ten

All at once the ten tore off

The human masks and clothes of cloth

The leapt and they hissed and they clawed at the air

They hunched and they sneered and they spat and they glared

At this insolent child who was up at this hour

And dared to stand when most would cower

His gown had come open, it flapped like a cape

As he leapt like a dog and he rolled like an ape

Dodging the blows of his black hearted foes

He paused and he grinned, then he picked his nose

Before girding his loins and fixing his mind

On his long, lethal ladle and making ten nine

Nine became eight, then another two fell

All quickly consigned to the dark depths of hell

By the young man with the grin and the twitch in his eye

Who laughed as he fought with no fear he would die

He lashed out his long ladle, mid running-dive

From the top of the table, and six became five

The five that remained when the young man did rest

Backed away slowly toward the great chest

Wherein they would find a weapon that might

Put an end to this boy on this very night

But wait, what now? He’s decided to yield?

Casting aside ladle and cooking pot shield

The man in the gown turned his back on his prey

Scratching his bum as he walked away

 Snatching an axe from a suit that had last

Contained a brave knight many years in the past

He twirled it and swung it and, nearing the door 

He turned and he threw it and five became four

In one smooth, swift movement as he passed it by

He slipped the knot holding the rope that ran high

From the hook on the wall to the candles that hung

From the beams up above and on this, the lad swung

Looking so dandy in his fine flowing gown

As he passed by the candles plummeting down

The creatures did scream as they craned their necks back

Three crushed to death under the attack

 Of the big iron ring with the wax and the flames

That the young man had sent to end their wicked games

Much better odds now so many were gone

 The young man relaxed, eleven were one

Relaxing is great when you’re by a pool

Or in that six weeks when you have no more school

But never, my friend, when you find yourself in

A castle and fighting a fight you must win

For it’s right at that point, as you take a deep breath

You’re foe will fight hard to avoid certain death

The chest creaked as it opened, the creature brought out

A gun with a barrel just like a pigs snout

He squeezed on the trigger and sent forth a shell

Forged in the deepest dark, dank pits of hell

The creature laughed loud and he narrowed his eyes

And called out to the boy “Here, kid, surprise”

The floor that he stood on, once solid and strong

Crumbled beneath him and sent him headlong 

To the scene down below where the candle flames did

Ignite some fat from a cooking pan lid

The flames spread fast, engulfing all

Lighting and heating the grand dining hall

The young man had fought hard and fought so well

But pride had come before he fell

To the floor on which he found himself lay

Battered and bruised and about to pay

The ultimate price for trying to portray

Himself as the hero that saved the day

Author unknown.

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